May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
