Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
