Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
