What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it's like iHOP with fire
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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