is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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