How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
