he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
