Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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