Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
