pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
