wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
