Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
