Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
