U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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