i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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