the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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