Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
