Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just cropdusted the office

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(703): View more from Virginia

We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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(512): View more from Texas

She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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(734): View more from Michigan

you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I think I accidentally invented a religion.

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(312): View more from Illinois

You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.

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