How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
