she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
