he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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