you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
