you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
