AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
