nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
