He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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