ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
