Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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