Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
