i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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