Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
