I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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