I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
