plz talk dirty to me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
