K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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