Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
