I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
false alarm. still invincible.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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