youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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