Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
