It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
