I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
