Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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