dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
