so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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