yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
