Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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