You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
