i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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