were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
