Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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